Monday, July 11, 2005

Lorena Vaque Tona

Name: Vaque Tona (Chocolate and Caramel)
Brand: Lorena
Place Purchased: Big Lots
Price: 33 cents
Size: 1.05 oz
Calories per ounce: Unknown
Type: Frosting?

In an attempt to be more international, I picked up these curiosities last week at the Big Lots, after being sent there by a blog posting about ice cream toppings.

Now, I know I said that buying candy at dollar stores is scary. And I don’t think this review should dissaude you from that notion.

I could not get an accurate translation of Vaque Tona on the web. I tried both Spanish and Portuguese (the manufacturer is in Brazil) but didn’t get much out of it. So I’ve decided these are called Cowbells. I think that’s what they’re supposed to look like. Unless they’re udders.

What they are is a little tube that ends in a mesh dome. You press up on the plunger inside the tube to dispense lickable goo ... something akin to frosting. You can suck it right from the plunger or smash the little ring into it and lick it off of that.

The two flavors I picked up were chocolate caramel and caramel.


It’s basically frosting. A cutesy delivery device for frosting. And that’d be okay if it was actually good frosting. Frosting isn’t that hard to make, so it’s beyond me why these can’t be good. First, they’re rather stale tasting. Sure, they’re sweet, but the chocolate one doesn’t really have a cocoa punch to it, more of a cardboard taste to it. It’s mostly smooth and creamy except for a plethora of little chunks of what I think are sugar. They don’t seem to be distributed consistently enough to be a feature, but they were both like that. The caramel one was very strong in its flavor, which I think is kind of an artificial vanilla flavor.

I’m gonna have to give this one a resounding thumbs down. Though the packaging and concept is sound, the execution is, well, unappealing.

Rating: 3 out of 10

POSTED BY Cybele AT 4:25 pm Tracker Pixel for Entry     CandyReview3-UnappealingBrazil

  1. ‘vaque tona’ is a play on words. the literal translation of vaque tona is a tramp in spanish…but since its a play on words vaque would be like cow because vaca means cow….

    Comment by Anonymous on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  2. You are certainly braver than I am. Ish! Glad I have someone like you to taste these things for me. Keep up the good work!

    Comment by Douglas on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  3. I can’t believe you ate that.  It looks scary!

    Comment by :: jozjozjoz :: on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  4. Cybele's avatar

    I didn’t eat all of it. Just sizeable tastes of each. Later in the evening I was sorry as I had a terrible gut ache.

    Comment by Cybele on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  5. Vaquetona means a great big cow.

    Vaca for cow, and changing it to end “tona” means something is bigger…like Vaquita would be the diminutive for Vaca.

    It is also used to denote (in the feminine here, but can be Vaqueton for masculine) being rural (in a derogatory way), or being a cowboy/cowgirl.

    Comment by Helena on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  6. meaning of Vaquetona

    as some said, vaquetona is a play of words, vaquetón is a guy who is lazy, someone who is a “procrastinator”,
    and vaquetona is how would you refer to a female procrastinator.

    and as someone said, the “vaque” part of vaquetona is like “vaca”, just pronounced a little different.

    and of course, vaca means cow.


    va - as in _ba_nd
    ca - as in _ca_n’t

    va - as in _ba_nd
    que - as in _ke_pt

    hope that makes this clear.


    Comment by Anonymous on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  7. hey i got this stuff the other day at biglots too!  33cents each.  i saw a strawberry chocolate one, and a carmel/chocolate one.  i got the carmel one and well theyre really not that good.  i was wondering what vaquetona meant and google brought me here. so now i know…  but honestly, i could easily make a better tasting chocolate goo, and it wouldnt have those weird crunchy specks either…  this is just another cheap mexican candy that wont sell anywhere except biglots…

    Comment by elle on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  8. Cybele's avatar

    elle - it’s funny, just tonight I was watching the food network and they were at the all candy expo in chicago and they showed off this candy. of course the host didn’t taste the candy, she made the guy a the booth demonstrate it (smart girl).

    Comment by Cybele on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
  9. If the chocolate is from Brazil, “Vaquetona” in portuguese means big cow…
    This candy doesn’t look nice at all… :(
    Bu if you want to try the bests chocolates from Brazil just let me know, I can send to you… smile

    Comment by Flaiva on 5/01/10 at 11:02 am #
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