In the United States we have something called Smarties. They’re little rolls of sweet and sour compressed dextrose in mild flavors. (In Canada they’re called Rockets.) They’ve been around since 1949.

Smarties come in three sizes. The Classic roll is 7 grams (.25 ounces). The Giant roll is 28 grams (.99 ounces). The Mega roll is 63 grams (2.25 ounces). So one Mega Smartie is about 3.3 grams ... basically, two Megas are equal to a whole roll of Classic.  Smarties used to come in one set of flavors, but now there are a few varieties, including Tropical and X-Treme Sour. The rolls for today’s review are the Mega variety, which are the largest that Smarties makes.

The twist for the new Mystery Smarties is that they’re completely mixed up rolls of all three flavor versions.

Not only are they a combination but the colors are completely mixed up and randomized, red is not always cherry, white is not always pineapple. The mystery here is that it’s not a one for one swap. One time I had a cherry green one and another time I think it was a blue one (but that may have been a sour).

The roll contains 19 tablets and two tablets are about 25 calories. They’re considered vegan. (The ingredients were hard to find, they’re on the twisted ends of the wrapper, not with the nutritional panel, so you can’t actually read the ingredients before you buy.)

Ingredients: Dextrose (Contains Maltodextrin and/or Corn Syrup Solids), Citric Acid, Calcium Stearate, Artificial Flavors, Colors (Red 40 Lake, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Blue 2 Lake).

The classic and original size Smarties have always been my favorite. I’ve tried the X-Treme Sour and Tropical (and Bubble Gum) but they’ve messed with the unique quality of the standard, teensy, powdery and barely flavored tablets.

The Mystery Smarties come in yellow, purple, blue, green, pink and orange. The colors hardly matter, as they’re just to mess with you. The large tablets are smooth and soft and fit nicely in the mouth. The flavors vary widely, from intense and burning lemon to a mild and sweet pineapple. The X-Treme sour flavors were a bit too much for me in this size, I think if I were to eat them, I’d prefer the little tablets. The texture is a little crumbly and dissolves easily. They’re not quite cool on the tongue, like some dextrose candies can be, but definitely not as sweet as a pure sucrose tablet would be.

I didn’t enjoy the surprise of a very sour or a very cherry piece. After a while, I wouldn’t even finish the flavors I didn’t want. It made me long for the classics. But kids really dig this sort of thing, so give them what they want - a bit of variety and a few shocks. There are probably good lessons in there for children as well about not judging things by appearance, and maybe a more sobering one about never counting on anything.

It’s a fun experiment that ultimately taught me to treasure consistency and how nice it is when expectations are met. Still, I recognize that I still have a problem with Smarties, I really can’t stop eating them when they’re in front of me.

Smarties are free from most allergens: no milk, egg, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat or soy. They are vegan (calcium stearate is plant based) but do feature many unnatural ingredients including the artificial colorings.

Related Candies

1. Choward’s Guava
2. Swizzels Matlow Parma Violets
3. Tropical and Xtreme Sour Smarties
4. Mega Smarties
5. Smarties Bubble Gum
6. Giant Pixy Stix
7. SweeTarts: Chicks, Ducks & Bunnies
8. Bottlecaps

Each year around this time there are lists of the best and worst Halloween candies. At the top folks always seem to have Candy Corn, but right in there is another misunderstood and underappreciated candy, Smarties.

There’s not much too them, they’re a simple tangy compressed dextrose candy stacked into a tight roll and wrapped in cellophane. For almost 60 years CeDe Candy has been churning out the chalky, barely flavored tablets. It’d be a rare Halloween Trick-or-Treat bag that didn’t have at least one roll. More recently CeDe’s product line has expanded to include Bubble Gum Smarties, Mega Smarties and now Xtreme Sour and Tropical Smarties.

The Tropical Smarties roll is attractive, orange and yellow accents give it a sunny, citrus look. The tablets themselves don’t look or smell any different from the original though. Original come in green, yellow, purple, pink, orange and white, Tropical seem to come in green, yellow, orange, pink and white.

In the case of the Tropical array, when eating mindlessly the rolls had a soft sweetness to them with some notes of pina colada and banana/strawberry. In the particular the yellow ones are banana (in the regular array I think they’re lemon) and the white ones seem to be the pina colada.

All of this causes too much thinking for something like Smarties though. Though the different colors are different flavors they’re one of the few candies I won’t separate before I eat.

Tropical Smarties are pleasant, a little milder (if that’s even possible) than the Original.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

The first thing I noticed about the X-Treme Sour Smarties is that they’re more vivid. Not quite SweeTarts colors, but pretty close.

The colors are green, yellow, purple, orange and pink (maybe red). They seem a bit denser and less powdery than the Original.

The flavors are actually perceivable, though not terribly notable. The tanginess is very high pitched. Where SweeTarts are a mid-range tartness (malic acid) these seem more citric acidy.

I like the balance of flavor to tartness with SweeTarts, but I can see this different kind of tartness and the back seat the actual flavors take having its appeal.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

On the whole, I’ve always loved Smarties in the sense that I will eat them, all of them, than later I will feel sick, curse them and vow never to eat them again because of my stupid lack of self control. The ubiquity of Smarties around Halloween is also accompanied by some sort of mind-warping amnesia ray ... and I again repeat my demonstration of how much power these little tablets have over me.

(Note: Smarties are called Rockets in Canada. Smarties made by Nestle are little chocolate lentils and are sold everywhere except for the USA.)

Related Candies

1. Brach’s Chocolate Candy Corn & Halloween Mix
2. Smarties Jelly Beans
3. Peeps Monster Mash Ups
4. Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses
5. Green Halloween

Another new brand of jelly beans from an old favorite, Smarties Jelly Beans.

Just to make things clear, the package says, “Tangy Fruit Flavors” ... just in case people thought they were some other assortment of flavors associated with Smarties. They never actually say which fruits they are, though.

Actually, I think Smarties are an ideal Easter candy, with their pastel colors and light flavors. I like Smarties. I like their lack of flavor, the way they dissolve so quickly and smoothly. I like their tiny tablet size, their light colors and complete indistinguishableness from one another.

These jelly beans were about the same price as others are these days, retail of $1.99.

The Smarties come in five flavors/colors.

The shell is a dry and a little crumbly and cool on the tongue (as dextrose usually is). The shells have a tangy and flavorful layer. The flavors aren’t very strong or complex. Grape is the most vivid, in that grape soda way. Green apple is pretty mild. Blue tastes like ball point pen ink smells (I think it’s raspberry). Cherry is very tart and then very sweet but less bitter than most pink/red cherry candies. Lemon was probably the sweetest of the bunch.

What was missing was the white Smarties, you know, that one that we all think is pineapple and is by far the best. (What? You don’t think so, too?)

The colors are bright and opaque, rather like highlighter pens. The funny part is that Smarties actually makes their lack of color in their compressed dextrose tablets a selling point. From their website:

Our candy is intentionally made in pastel colors so that our customers will be eating more candy and less artificial colors. Don’t be fooled by candies like ours with bright colors, you can taste the dye!

In the case of these little jelly beans, I think they’re using just as much dye as everyone else. Most of all I noticed the similarities between the Smarties Jelly Bean and the SweeTarts Jelly Beans.

So I gathered up an assortment of both and put them side by side. The SweeTarts Jelly Beans are on the left and the Smarties Jelly Beans are on the right. They are extremely close in colors, although the Smarties are missing the orange one completely.

The beans were essentially identical with the Smarties being slightly more flavorful, mostly in the tangy layer. The colors very little but the purple and the green are the easiest to tell apart by looking at them and the blue in the SweeTarts version is punch flavor, not raspberry.

I really don’t have a preference of one over the other. If you have a choice, I say go with whichever is cheaper or whichever brand you feel you prefer to support.

They’re both made in Canada and come in 14 ounce bags, though their ingredients label differs slightly ... so it’s entirely possible that this factory churns both out under contract with Nestle or CeDe Candy.

While all of the Smarties compressed dextrose products are gluten, nut and milk free, the Smarties Jelly Beans are made in Canada and are made in a facility that processes all the hit-list allergens: peanuts, nuts, milk products, soy products, wheat, eggs and sesame seeds.

Related Candies

1. Wonka Nerds Jelly Beans
2. Blueberry Hill Spice Jelly Beans
3. Jelly Belly Deluxe Easter Mix
4. Smarties Bubble Gum
5. Starburst and Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Everything’s better when it’s big!

These are big Smarties. Yeah, there are two rolls of Smarties there in the picture. One is a regular sized roll and the other are the new gigantor Smarties.

Each Mega Smartie is the same diameter as a quarter and tastes suspiciously like a regular Smartie. (Yes, those are Mega Smarties with regular Smarties on top to show scale ... Mega Smarties do not come with hats.)

Really, there’s very little difference except that for the first time I was able to taste the actual vague flavor of each of the Smarties colors. Not that there’s a lot of it. Not that I want a lot of flavor in my Smarties. They’re plesantly sweet and tart and dissolve quickly on the tongue. If I have any complaint with the Mega Smarties, it’s that they’re not quite as crumbly. There’s something so light and chalky about the demi-Smarties that allows them to enter the bloodstream instantly.

If there’s one thing to recommend Mega Smarties, it’s because they’re now in a single-serving package, you should be able to find them with other candy bars instead of in with the bulk and fun sized bags. I usually only pick up Smarties at Halloween, because that’s the easiest time to find them in the large bags ... see how clever they are!

(The weird thing is that I didn’t know what to call these. The label just refers to them as Smarties with no reference to the size. The Smarties.com website doesn’t say anything about Mega Smarties even existing.)