Tuesday, March 2, 2010

CVS Marshmallow Pop

CVS (Laguna Hills) - Crazy Chinese MarshmallowsAt a CVS in Hollywood last week I spotted an exceptionally odd Marshmallow Pop among the Easter candy. It was blue and kind of the flounder version of some sort of plush animal - the face was all on one side of the profile. I thought it was a manufacturing mistake - I took a photo of it and made fun of it on Twitter.

Then I was in another CVS, some 50 miles away over the weekend and found another display (pictured here), this time with a half a dozen of these same strange light blue marshmallow creatures. So of course I had to buy one. It was only a dollar.

It’s a large marshmallow pop. On top of a plastic stick is perched 2.46 ounces of powder blue, sugar sanded marshmallow with hand-decorated frosting features. The packaging is simple, a clear cellophane bag - the back has some imprinted nutrition facts and CVS house brand satisfaction guarantee. You can guess where this review is going.

I bought a whatzit marshmallow

He’s about 5 inches high, 4 inches wide and about 1 inch thick.

But what is he? My first impulse is that he’s a plush version of the Quiznos creatures called Spongmonkies (here’s a video, but turn down your speakers before clicking). But this guy’s teeth are too good, oh, and he’s not furry. My second thought is that it’s a dinosaur, especially because the dentition indicates a carnivorous creature - some sort of Tyrannosaurus rex perhaps. The anatomy isn’t quite right. Look at how big his front legs are - well, there’s also that part where he’s crossed one arm across his chest and the other one is dangling like the elbow is dislocated. (Maybe he’s fallen off his bike and is holding his boo-boo, crying and running home to his mama.)

Then there’s the legs ... is there a leg missing? Is that a tail or a foot that’s also dislocated and facing backwards.

Is this actually some sort of roadkill? Pre-flattened with broken and missing limbs?

Anyway, let’s move on to the actual performance of the product as an edible.

Marshmallow Pop

It smells like some sort of raspberry - like an array of body washes and scented creams from Bath and Body Works. It also reminds me of a medicated pet shampoo I used to use (on my dog).

The sugary grain on the outside is substantial, far greater than I would have expected (and messier). It’s not like the fine stuff on Peeps, this is sparkly and gritty sugar.

The flavor of the marshmallow is well rounded, much more like those strawberry gummi puffs than a marshmallow. The texture is latexy, chewy and bouncy. The raspberry is both floral and tangy, sweet but not cloying. The blue goes all the way through and there’s a hint of an aftertaste to go with it. About a half hour later I was wondering if I’d been eating air freshener and forgot. The frosting bits were hard, crunchy and disconcerting - I wasn’t sure if it was unglazed porcelain sometimes.

A few bites in and I thought I’d eaten a little bit of the packaging. Little soft plastic bits (but it was wrapped in cellophane and this was nothing like that). The chunks, as far as I could tell, were unmixed gelatin globs. Flavorless and a little gummy, but probably perfectly edible. But not acceptable.

The nutrition label says one serving is the entire pop. While that’s only 240 calories, there’s no way I could eat more than the three bites shown. I stopped because my curiosity was satisfied, not my craving for a sweet.

It’s not horrible, but it’s really, really bad. While I enjoy novelties that might not be very palatable, they’re usually fun to look at. This is just frightening. The marshmallows are made in China, and since this is a house brand at CVS, there’s really no way of knowing where or how it was manufactured. I tried a similar product a few years ago from Walgreen’s house brand, a Valentine’s Pink Marshmallow Pig.

Related Candies

  1. Whitman’s Marshmallow Eggs & Carrot
  2. Choco-Fudge Mallow Sundae
  3. Marshmallow Pig
  4. Frankford Marshmallow Pals
  5. Peeps Mash Ups
Name: Marshmallow Pop
    RATING:
  • 10 SUPERB
  • 9 YUMMY
  • 8 TASTY
  • 7 WORTH IT
  • 6 TEMPTING
  • 5 PLEASANT
  • 4 BENIGN
  • 3 UNAPPEALING
  • 2 APPALLING
  • 1 INEDIBLE
Brand: CVS
Place Purchased: CVS (Laguna Hills)
Price: $.99
Size: 2.46 ounces
Calories per ounce: 100
Categories: Marshmallow, China, Easter

POSTED BY Cybele AT 1:48 pm Tracker Pixel for Entry    

Comments
  1. You are brave.  I was OUT in the big, wide world today and saw Cadbury eggs and Easter bunnies and Lindt and sigh. 

    Say, I didn’t see it in your archives but have you every tried a violet cream like they eat in England?

    Comment by celia on 3/02/10 at 2:52 pm #
  2. This is completely amazing!  LOL!  I would totally buy this for the sheer “wtf”-randomness of it.  smile

    Fangs on easter candy?  really?  REALLY?  I have no idea.

    Comment by Elise on 3/02/10 at 2:57 pm #
  3. I keep trying to re-imagine the shape as something Easter-related that just got the wrong face painted on it…sort of like that trick picture that looks like either a duck or a rabbit depending on how you look it.  So far, my efforts have been unsuccessful.

    Comment by JJR on 3/02/10 at 2:58 pm #
  4. Y’know, it kind of looks like an abominable snowman, running.  Not that that’s Easter related AT ALL, but that’s what I’m getting on this viewing.

    Comment by Liz on 3/02/10 at 3:25 pm #
  5. Wait, wait, I think this might be it! The top monster listed here, a “cave troll”: http://www.idnq-guide.com/index.php?page=monster&action=viewarea&id=15

    Why there would be a call for Neopets cave troll gummy lollipop things for easter, though, I can’t fathom

    Comment by Fluffy on 3/02/10 at 4:37 pm #
  6. I’ve long been intrigued by these, but your review is exactly what I would expect from such a product.

    Comment by Jay from The Sweet Spot Candy on 3/02/10 at 4:51 pm #
  7. The Spongmonkies are actually originally from the wonderful rathergood.com website. I used to drive people insane by singing this song http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song

    (also, violet creams are AWESOME - candy that tastes like flowers are win)

    Comment by Nivaya on 3/03/10 at 6:44 am #
  8. I’m dumb, ignore my last comment, I didn’t actually CLICK the link. But the fact remains. We like the moon.

    Comment by Nivaya on 3/03/10 at 6:46 am #
  9. He’s obviously writhing in pain from a having a stick jabbed up his patootie. It’s like some weird marshmallow Christ parable that got lost in translation.

    Comment by Liz/PDX on 3/03/10 at 10:30 am #
  10. HA!  I saw this same thing just the other day and had to do a triple-take to figure out what it was supposed to be.  I didn’t eat it, but I do think the other ones in this product family are much cuter and less random than this… thing… smile

    Comment by Ruffy on 3/03/10 at 1:26 pm #
  11. LOL!  I was going to write a comment about the funny blue monster….but others have already had my say…..

    So instead, I will just thank you for clarifying the medicated pet shampoo use!

    Thanks for keeping me giggling!  I am afraid I am now sorely tempted to go to CVS and buy a mystery monster pet pop of my own!

    Comment by Michelle F on 3/03/10 at 4:55 pm #
  12. Just what I was worried about….my travels yesterday brought me in proximity to a CVS and I couldn’t resist a peek….then a PURCHASE of this silly little monster!  I don’t HAVE any kids….don’t KNOW any little kids and I certainly am NOT tempted to bite into him…..he is sitting on my table looking happy (that’s a toothy smile) to be there, but what the heck do I do with him now?

    Comment by Michelle F on 3/05/10 at 6:13 pm #
  13. That is one scary marshmellow pop.  I think it’s suppose to be a dinosaur, but it kind of reminds me of a ghouly.

    Comment by Charissa on 3/11/10 at 12:27 pm #
  14. This was good advertising. I went to CVS just to buy one of these guys XD I was so excited to see it in person!

    Comment by Rita on 3/12/10 at 11:28 am #
  15. that is so funny because i was thinking the same thing and i had to buy one.. i thought that if kids saw this thing, it would give them nightmares.. too funny!

    Comment by xgirl on 3/13/10 at 7:05 pm #
  16. Aww he looks so frightfully happy wink

    Comment by JFRaz on 3/13/10 at 9:14 pm #
  17. I like to think that somewhere in China there was a disgruntled candy template designer that on day decided “THEMED_EASTER-014” was going to have fangs…

    Comment by Vitcent on 4/06/10 at 12:21 pm #
  18. What the? I think it’s a Easter gmkst that was in a car crash! ??

    Comment by Taylor on 4/12/11 at 9:42 pm #
  19. That is so funny looking! ?

    Comment by Taylor on 5/15/11 at 6:07 pm #
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