Monday, October 6, 2008

Choco-Fudge Mallow Sundae

Choco-Fudge Mallow SundaeFirst, this is not a review. I did not eat this.

A couple of years ago I raved about a product from Kandy Kastle: Gummi Lightning Bugs. It was both a candy and a novelty item and I was enchanted by the simplicity.

Since then I’ve seen and passed up other Kandy Kastle products, things like the Mallow Burger (Candy Addict review) and 2 Tapeworms (more here).

But when I spotted this on the shelves of the local 99 Cent Only Store, I just had to buy it. Not because I thought it was going to be good, but I was just too curious.

The Choco-Fudge Mallow Sundae is pretty big for only 60 cents (well, technically it’s 59.99 cents) and boasts that it’s Fat Free, Cholesterol Free and Low Sodium. Because the target market for these is always swayed by those selling points.


Choco-Fudge Mallow Sundae

Basically the candy is a stack of flavored marshmallows in Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Green Apple. It comes with a little packet of Chocolate Fudge Candy Gel to pour over it as if it were a real ice cream sundae.

The candy is toweringly huge at about seven inches.

It comes tucked in a little waxed paper cup with the marshmallows firmly adhered to each other and sprinkled with colored jimmies.

If you think they look like Play-Doh, I agree.

Choco-Fudge Mallow SundaeAfter photographing the basic candy from many angles I took out the little Chocolate Fudge Candy Gel in order to create the image shown on the front of the package.

When they said gel they weren’t kidding. When I first opened it, there were a few thin drips, but the rest was congealed inside. So I squeeze it a bit to mix it up and then tried to drizzle it out on the marshmallow scoops.

It came out in a thin stream then a few chunks.

The ingredients explain a lot: corn syrup, sugar, modified starches, water, sorbitol, potassium sorbate, artificial flavors, artificial colors (Red 40, Yellow 5, Blue 1 and Titanium Dioxide).

Note that this Chocolate Fudge Candy Gel contains no chocolate products whatsoever. I didn’t think it would need actual chocolate, but a pinch of cocoa might make a convincing fudge sauce.

It didn’t smell very good, kind of like fake vanilla, but not much else.

Then I was left with this sticky tower of dry and stiff marshmallows. It smelled like a cross between green apple flavor and new shoes.

I couldn’t eat it. I can’t eat it. I tried to take a bite of the chocolate marshmallow part, avoiding the sticky gel, but I couldn’t keep it in my mouth. It was cocoa-ish but had that green apple flavor to it as well. It was stiff and tacky and dry on the outside.

Just too horrible to consume but an incredibly cheap decoration if you’re looking for one. My inedible rating is probably unfair because I didn’t actual try very hard so if you’ve had this and loved it, please testify to my inaccurate description of the experience of not eating it below.

Patent Pending & Made in China.

Other braver folks: Riverfront Times.

Related Candies

  1. Big Bite Gummy Bear
  2. Easter Novelty Toys (with candy)
  3. Peeps inside a Milk Chocolate Egg
  4. Gummy Fishies
  5. Rolly Pop
Name: Choco-Fudge Mallow Sundae
    RATING:
  • 10 SUPERB
  • 9 YUMMY
  • 8 TASTY
  • 7 WORTH IT
  • 6 TEMPTING
  • 5 PLEASANT
  • 4 BENIGN
  • 3 UNAPPEALING
  • 2 APPALLING
  • 1 INEDIBLE
Brand: Kandy Kastle
Place Purchased: 99 Cent Only (Silverlake)
Price: $.60
Size: 2.82 ounces
Calories per ounce: 89
Categories: Marshmallow, China, Kandy Kastle

POSTED BY Cybele AT 10:35 am Tracker Pixel for Entry    

Comments
  1. I’ve had the Canadian version, which does not come with gel and is slightly more impressionistic in shape! I liked it very much—I ate most of my portion (I was sharing it with someone) in the parking lot of the 7-11 where we’d bought it. I really like dry, stale marshmallows, and that’s what it was, plus some sprinkles. The different colours didn’t taste much different from each other, but they smelled the way they were supposed to. The cone, I believe, was also a marshmallow.

    Comment by Rebecca on 10/06/08 at 11:05 am #
  2. I am laughing so hard at this right now.  XD

    A packet of faux-choco gel?  Repulsive.

    Comment by Elise on 10/06/08 at 11:18 am #
  3. Well…........it certainly is CUTE

    Comment by Summers Love on 10/06/08 at 12:18 pm #
  4. bettyfelon's avatar

    those sprinkles look like maggots under a blacklight at a rave
    gross

    Comment by bettyfelon on 10/06/08 at 12:52 pm #
  5. It smelled like a cross between green apple flavor and new shoes.

    Wow. It makes lemon flavored Lysol sound good.

    Comment by Dave on 10/06/08 at 1:30 pm #
  6. Perhaps you should create a new rating, “too scared to try”. wink

    I can feel your pain. Having in living in Japan for quite some time, there are more than a few things I’m too scared to try based on appearances alone. There are big brown log-looking things in the sweets section which I avoided for many years. I finally tried one variety of them and they were actually pretty good. They still look like something you might see floating in a toilet, but they’re actually pretty nice.

    (Reviewed here if you’re interested to know what I’m referring to: http://japanesesnackreviews.blogspot.com/2008/09/oishi-delicious-black-sugar-marshmallow.html)

    However, I think that your apprehension is well-placed. I think those look almost too toy-like to taste good.

    Comment by Orchid64 on 10/06/08 at 3:39 pm #
  7. Orchid64, aren’t there Japanese candies that are deliberately shaped like smiling coils of soft-serv poo?  I could’ve sworn I had seen that somewhere.

    Comment by Dave on 10/06/08 at 3:52 pm #
  8. LOL at ?too scared to try?

    Yes I?ve seen candies similar to these… not pleasant but as you said a very pretty -and unedible- decoration!

    Comment by GS on 10/06/08 at 5:37 pm #
  9. Ha!  As I was scrolling down I was wondering if you were brave enough to try it.  The faux chocolate goo just makes it.  Blech.

    Comment by Marie on 10/06/08 at 5:41 pm #
  10. it looks… like it’s bleeding…

    Comment by perry on 10/06/08 at 6:13 pm #
  11. Congealed?  That word describing ANY food item is a put-off!  Cute looking candy, though.  smile  Just don’t think I could eat it after that description.  That and the fact that it was made in China.  They haven’t had a very good run with food items lately…

    Comment by Mandy on 10/06/08 at 8:22 pm #
  12. If this is supposed to be a faux-sundae, then I understand the chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavors.  But where does the green apple come from?  That seems an odd addition that is sure to taste weird.

    Comment by Aaron on 10/07/08 at 2:12 am #
  13. with all that’s been going on in China lately by not eating it, you probably saved yourself a world of hurt

    Comment by debe on 10/07/08 at 6:01 am #
  14. Tricia's avatar

    My inedible rating is probably unfair because I didn?t actual try very hard

    I dunno - that kind of seems to sum up “inedible” right there - if you can’t bring yourself to eat it, it’s inedible! And since when is vanilla ice cream yellow? Even french vanilla is more like, say, vaguely tan than yellow!

    Comment by Tricia on 10/07/08 at 6:26 am #
  15. Ugh. That looks disgusting! And I don’t think I could ever eat anything with the word “tapeworm” in the title.

    Comment by Debby on 10/07/08 at 6:58 am #
  16. where did you get that?!

    Comment by Claudia on 10/07/08 at 10:30 am #
  17. This is the grossest confection ever invented.

    Comment by meredith on 10/07/08 at 11:25 am #
  18. Ok so this definitely does not look like something I would even want to try. However, this does look like a really cool decoration for a kids themed party. Like an ice cream shoppe get together or a girls slumber party…

    I would have to agree on the fact that marshmallows that are dry and crusty are very disgusting and I refrain from eating them. 

    Maybe they’ll still be around when I have kids of my own so I’ll decorate the room with it ;]

    Comment by Kristen on 10/09/08 at 2:16 pm #
  19. Aw, that looks adorable!

    Comment by Rita on 10/10/08 at 11:40 am #
  20. when i was scrolling down the page, i thought that was made of fabric, like a toy. i love the way it looks (sans “goo”) but man, that gel stuff makes me want to vomit.

    Comment by pam on 10/15/08 at 7:55 am #
  21. In response to Dave and Orchid 64:

    “Aren’t there Japanese candies that are deliberately shaped like smiling coils of soft-serv poo?”

    http://mrnaomi.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/taiwan-modern-toilet-restaurant/

    Indeed, yes there are…I got this in an email. In fact it is a whole restaurant…

    Comment by Carleene on 12/27/08 at 3:56 pm #
  22. I have ate this bfore and it deserves a 1. No, It deserves a -1, because I bought it at the dollar store and wasted a dollar. It doesnt deserve justice. BLECH

    Comment by Ally on 3/16/09 at 10:51 am #
  23. i’ve heard of marshmallow burgers, marshmallow fries with sour strawberry dip, and candy hot dogs but never candy ice cream

    Comment by Olivia on 3/20/09 at 9:43 am #
  24. Once I tried to squeeze this at the 99 cents store and it felt as hard as a rock…
    O.o Maybe we’re supposed to suck on it.

    Comment by Jen on 3/29/09 at 8:26 pm #
  25. I ate this, it was a gift of congealed choc and plasticine. hideous.

    Comment by Jo on 4/25/09 at 6:46 am #
  26. My god, I feel sorry for anyone who bought that thinking ti would be good, and found that it wasn’t. It looks carcinogenic…and the worst part is, when kids pick out candy, they usually go for the brightest, flashiest stuff, like this abomination.

    Comment by Sara Ebare on 7/16/09 at 6:46 pm #
  27. Carleene-

    In case you still check in, the restaurant you linked to (Modern Toilet Restaurant) http://www.typetive.com/?URL=http://mrnaomi.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/taiwan-modern-toilet-restaurant/ 

    Is in TAIWAN, not Japan (as the url and the post itself states). Taiwan is a little island right next to China that is its own little country- own government and President and everything.

    Now that I’ve said that, I’ve actually seen one of these restaurants while in Taiwan a year or so ago(my immediate relatives- grandparents, aunts, uncles…- live in Taiwan so I go a lot in the summer). We walked past it while going back to the car after dinner at a different restaurant. I actually saw the sign first, as it was one of those that were higher up- I thought it was a public toilet sign as the sign showed the men’s and women’s toilet symbols. Then I saw what was under the sign. We were all amused. I still have the pictures I took on my camera.

    Comment by Trish on 11/10/09 at 3:35 am #
  28. And Trish..

    As the article states, there are ones in Japan as well.

    Comment by Brent (Lanlost) on 4/09/10 at 3:12 am #
  29. this stuff loooks like pillow of multi colored poop. wow. come on kandy kastle?? really?? why would ou present the world with this?? i do not understand?? like what is this made out of?? i would love to know. give me a call at 123 456 789. PEOPLLE dont buy this crap! it might kill you!! jen, i agree. i bet this stuff is as hard as a rock! im so angry right now. im about to go get myself some real candy.! KAZOOZLES. thats right. everybody needs to try them. theyre the best.

    Comment by candylover7 on 8/21/11 at 9:50 pm #
  30. Apparently I heard from candylover7 you can get this candy on Mars! That is very convenient to know, the candy industry really is spreading out I guess. I do not know who designed this candy but they should be a millionaire! I would have never thought of this, and I don’t consider myself an idiot, pure genius!! The drizzle added to the candy is soooo good, who would have ever thought to put some amazing drizzle stuff on a candy that is already amazing, not me!! only a genius… I just bought 20 boxes of this candy for my party im throwing, the guests will be so delighted! Such a great deal too, way underpriced, and at 7 inches tall! There are not many things 7 inches tall that I can fit in my mouth other than this, and I delightingly insert this into my mouth every chance I get! Keep up the good work guys!

    Comment by candylover6 on 8/21/11 at 9:51 pm #
  31. candylover7! how dare you! the poop style to this candy makes it so amazing and appealing! if you dont want 7 inches of poop then get lost! And multi colored poop, that is amazing! I am going to call you right now and give you a piece of my mind which I am currently trying to find thanks Sour Patch Berries!

    Comment by candylover6 on 8/21/11 at 9:55 pm #
  32. oh shut it candy lover 7

    Comment by candylover7 on 8/21/11 at 9:57 pm #
  33. I think those look almost too toy-like to taste good. I feel sorry for anyone who bought that thinking ti would be good, and found that it wasn’t. It looks carcinogenic.

    Comment by Heather on 11/23/11 at 11:16 am #

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