Argh, I picked the little pack of this stuff up because it looked hilariously awful. I couldn’t have been more right. Well, half right anyway. There is nothing really hilarious about foaming at the mouth and drooling into the Walgreen’s bag this candy (if I can call it that) was carried home in, unless of course you are one of my friends laughing at my misfortune. The hard, tacky ropes, the cheap stale chili powder, the horror of the tiny benign looking pack of tamarind “sauce”. Oh the humanity.
To this day I use Salsagetti as a meter for bad food. I can basically look at any exotic food and think “there’s no way this can be worse than that candy imposter, Salsagetti.” I’m pretty sure the inventor of the tongue scraper had previously been subject to it.
Some lessons I’ve learned:
-Do not trust cartoon ducks in sunglasses. They LIE.
-If it sounds hilariously bad, it’s probably just bad.
-You would do well to remember that spagHetti has an H in it, and a lack of one may be very telling as to the quality of the product it describes.
-There was no salsa or spaghetti in this product (nor a duck for that matter), which was perfectly fine because salsa and spaghetti are typically not two things I would want to associate with candy.