Name: Bali’s Best Coffee Candy
Brand: Fusion Gourmet, Inc.
Place Purchased: 99 cent Store
Price: $.99
Size: 7.05 oz
Calories per ounce: 125
Type: Hard Candy

Name: United Coffee Candy
Brand: United Foods Public Company Ltd.
Place Purchased: gift from Mom
Price: $1.75
Size: 7.05 oz
Calories per ounce: 125
Type: Hard Candy

Two different kinds of coffee hard candy. United Coffee Candy is from Thailand and the candies are little, flat rectangles and the Bali’s Best are from Indonesia (Bali) and are circular. Both have similar ingredients - leading with Sugar, then Glucose Syrup with Bali’s Best adding a little dried milk and then both round it out with coffee powder and oil. Pretty simple, and both get it absolutey right.

Each of them are crisp and densely rich. Sweet but with a robust and full sweet coffee flavor. Bali’s is just a little creamier because of the milk powder, but it also has a little more of a bitter twang to it.

Though the shapes are different, each are individually wrapped in sealed pouches.

Both are definitely keepers, something I’ll keep in the car or my purse or even the desk drawer. Easy to share and since I’m the type who likes to crunch her hard candies, these are very satisfying with a toffee consistency.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

Related Candies

1. Werther’s Caramel Coffee Hard Candies
2. KitKat Mocha
3. Hachez Chocolates
4. Coffee Crisp

Name: Neon Lasers
Brand: Albert’s
Place Purchased: 99 cent Store
Price: $.99
Size: 5.6 oz (101 sticks)
Type: Sour

I had high hopes for these, though I’ve steered clear of pixie stix and smarties for some years. I love the pure sugar rush, but of course hate the crash. I consider pixie sticks and smarties to pretty much be candy cocaine.

Pixie stix are notoriously expensive, which baffles me. They’re sugar and some sour stuff, probably citric acid or malic acid. That’s it. Maybe they’re hard to produce, stuffing them into those little paper tubes.

These Neon Lasers are in plastic tubes and are they ever tough to open. If you’re lucky, you get one that opens when you crack the seal at one end by pressing the little seal the opposite direction that it’s flattened. Otherwise, just keep some scissors handy.

Upon pouring about a third of a laser into my mouth, I found that it was not power, but little grains, well, really large grains. A cross between sea salt and kosher salt. The crunchy part is just sugar and the little grit around it is the flavor. Will seemed only slightly more pleased with them than I was, but given the opportunity to take them home, he declined. I’d venture that meant a low rating from him too. 

I’m wholly unpressed. It’s not really that they taste bad, they just aren’t worth the trouble.

Rating: 3 out of 10.

Name: Reese’s Swoops
Brand: Hershey’s (Reese’s)
Place Purchased: 99 cent Store (Hollywood)
Price:  $.99
Size: 3.78 oz
Type: Chocolate Candy

Did you ever say to yourself, “I love Pringles. I wish they were made out of chocolate.” Well, Hershey’s has gone and made a whole line of candy called Swoops. They come in oodles of flavors but the basic idea is that they are little chocolate chips flavored in some way. Think Cool Ranch Pringles, then think Reese’s Peanut Butter Chips.

I probably shouldn’t be buying candy for evaluation at the 99 cent store, because the reason it’s there (as I’ve found out) is probably because it’s past its prime. But I’ve been curious about Swoops but not willing to put in the two bucks they usually cost. Here’s a word to the wise, if you want to actually like what you’re buying, buy fresh. And that usually costs money. Now buying hard candy isn’t much of an issue, but chocolate products demand freshness.

Swoops appear to be more of a hydrogenated oil product than a chocolate product and even if they were fresh, I reckon I’d find them waxy. It’s the same issue I have with Reese’s pieces.

What I think is cool is the packaging, they come in a stack of three small tubs, each as about 6 chips in it. They look very inviting, but you can’t actually hold onto them for very long without them melting in your fingers, so don’t pick one up unless you’re ready to eat it.

The novelty is nice, but there are other better value shapes of chocolate candies that would suit me better.

Rating: 5 out of 10.

Name: Hot Rings
Brand: Lifesavers
Place Purchased: 99 Cent Store (Hollywood)
Price: 25 cents
Size: .90 oz
Type: Hard Candy

I know last week I said that we shouldn’t be afraid of strange candy. I might have done something stupid.

I found these Lifesavers at the 99 cent store. Branded with a little Sega Sonic the Hedgehog, I’m thinking that there’s another Sonic game coming out. I bought it, thinking it was cinnamon. And we all know that Lifesavers don’t come in cinnamon. They should. Reeds come in cinnamon, and I love those.

Upon starting my little photo shoot I look at the package and see this:

Since you can’t see all of it, they’re running a contest and if you have the right wrapper, you can win a variety of prizes. All prizes must be claimed by MARCH 1995!

This roll of Lifesavers is more than 10 YEARS OLD! And cost 25 cents!

I’m not sure if Lifesavers spoil. What’s a better question is if these were ever any good. I unwrapped them and found milky yellow Lifesavers with red specs. They smelled a bit like mint. Again, I was expecting cinnamon. I put one in my mouth and it’s more like pineapple with a hit of chili to it. Really.

All I can say is that I’m mystified. Here’s an ad from the mid-nineties with this Lifesavers/SEGA cross-promotion.

Rating: 4 out of 10 (yes, I might try another one)

Name: Chewy Centered Gobstopper
Brand: Wonka (Nestle)
Place Purchased: 99 Cent Store
Price: $.33
Size: 1.77 oz
Calories per ounce: 60
Type: Hard Candy

I guess it’s appropriate to visit the Wonka line of candies since there will be another movie soon. There are very few actual products out there, I reckon, that were created based on a novel. And more than a novelty, some of the Wonka candies are pretty good. The brand itself is an odd one, changing hands from time to time and amassing some other brands in the meantime (did you know that Bottle Caps are now Wonka products?).

Besides the odd history, I thought I’d do a little review of the Everlasting Gobstopper since I found that they’ve created a new version - the Chewy Centered Gobstopper.

First, a Gobstopper is a jawbreaker that has different flavored layers and in the center is a sweet-tart sphere. When I was a kid the Gobstoppers were large, like real jawbreakers. I haven’t seen those in years, but have been able to find the boxes of Gobstoppers that contain little marble sized versions. They come in bright colors and the layers change flavor three or four times before getting to the center. The flavor itself is rather bland, more sweet than tart, but it has a pleasant cooling feel to the smooth surface.

The Chewy Gobstopper has the same flavor except for the center, which is much larger, so the layers are fewer or thinner (I couldn’t figure it out because I kept chewing them up before getting to the center). They’re very much the same as the regular Gobstopper and I think I might buy them again. Especially if I can find them at the 99 cent store.

Rating: 8 out of 10.