Name: Violet Crumble
Brand: Nestle (Australia)
Place Purchased: Convenience Store (Hollywood)
Price: $.75
Size: 1.25 oz
Calories per ounce: 150
Type: Candy (Chocolate)

The package says “It’s the way that it shatters that matters.” Of course the other side calls it “Australia’s Crisp Golden Honeycomb.” I’ve had this bar once before and was not terribly impressed. I was hoping it would be malt, but it’s not.

What is it? Think of that dense chalky styrofoam and then add some flavor and a sweet aroma similar to toasted marshmallows. One of my problems with this bar is the noise the honeycomb makes when you bite into it. Like biting into a piece of balsa wood or stiff styro. The ingredients also do not lend one to be drawn to the bar (there’s no honey), it’s mostly sugar and hydrogenated palm oil (yee! I have a cholesterol test coming up!).

That said, I actually like it. I can get beyond the sqeaky sound on my teeth because the crumble is really satisfying, it crackles and yields in the mouth, melting into a blissful sweet puddle. The chocolate coat is actually chocolate, which helps. The coating, I found, is a tad sweet, but I expect that from Aussie and Brit sweets, I suppose. Also, at only a little over an ounce, it’s a very satisfying bar because it’s so stuffed with air, it looks formidable. It’s the trans fat content that has me worried, so I’m going to stick to monosaturated treats for a while.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Chelsea Yogurt Scotch
Brand: Meiji
Place Purchased: Mitsuwa Marketplace (Little Tokyo, LA)
Price: $.99
Size: 1.58 oz
Calories per ounce: 120
Type: Toffee/Hard Candy

The Taste of Old Scotland! the candy heralds down the side of the tray inside the calico printed box. What Chelsea has to do with Scotland is beyond me. This is a candy blog, after all, not a geography one.

I’m not sure I know what old Scotland tastes like. But these hard toffees are unlike any other toffee I’ve ever had. First, they’re opaque white and glossy when I unwrapped the piece, unlike the toasty cream color I’m used to.

Putting it in my mouth I found it initially tart. Not in a citrus way, but in the way that yogurt is tart. It’s smooth and creamy, but with a little bite to it.

I found them pleasant, but a little bland. I plan to finish the box, but it’s unlikely I’ll buy yogurt scotch again. However, there is another flavor that I saw at the market, regular butterscotch ... that sounds more my speed.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Name: Noir au Grue de Cacao
Brand: Michel Cluizel
Place Purchased: Garden of Eden (Manhattan)
Price: $5.45 (yow!)
Size: 3.5 oz
Calories per ounce: 180
Type: Chocolate

Michel Cluizel has been mentioned to me a few times as the epitome of fine, dense chocolate. I’ve looked at it quite a few times in the shops but have always been hesitant because of the price. Really, at $1.55 per ounce, this stuff better be pretty good.

It’s nicely packaged, I like things in boxes instead of flimsy paper, especially for something that I’m not going to finish in one sitting. The scent of the chocolate is positively gorgeous. Chocolately, rich and with a hint of coffee.

The bar I chose is a standard dark chocolate with bits of cocoa nibs in it. I’ve had this sort of bar before (I’ll try to find that bar again, because I really liked it) and was looking forward to the mix of textures and taste density.

My first two squares were disappointing. I think I hit a bad patch of nibs, because they tasted very musty. But, upon revisiting it the next day, I found that the chocolate was very smooth with an excellent contrast of the crunchy nibs. Overall I think that the addition of the nibs if more of a novelty than an actual enhancement. I like nuts in my chocolate, or raisins or, jeeze, just about anything. But I don’t like things in my chocolate that don’t add to the experience.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Super Lemon Candy
Brand: Santa Trading Co.
Place Purchased: Mitsuwa Marketplace (Little Tokyo, LA)
Price: $1.49
Size: 2.64 oz
Type: Hard Candy (Sour)

Of course I’m a sucker for packaging. How could you resist this sassy lady with her cherry lips and surprised expression heralding “It’s So Wonderful Candy!”

What’s even better are the pictographic description on the back:

And is it ever sour. Taking them out of the individual packet, you’ll find a little round ball, about the size of a marble, distinctly yellow with a powdery dusting on it. Pop it in your mouth and you’re gonna definitely feel that “Oh! Super Candy” feeling. It’s sour. I’m serious. It’s painfully, numbingly sour.

After the salty, toxic waste sourness dissolves away, you’ve got a lemon drop. It’s a good lemon drop, smooth and without too many airgaps. It’s got good essense flavor to it, too. If you like the megasours that have been on the market for years without the novelty that goes with them, this is a solidly good sour lemon ball.

I’m unable to find much about the company that makes it, though it’s a common import and obviously packaged for the overseas market as much of the package is in English.

Other reviews: Super Lemon has Awesome Power & Candy Critic.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Name: Coffee Crisp
Brand: Nestle (Canada)
Place Purchased: Bristol Farms (Pasadena)
Price: $.79
Size: 1.76 oz
Calories per ounce: 148
Type: Chocolate Candy

Nestle’s known for the Nestle Crunch bar. This one is a bit of a twist. This huge, light block of a bar has layers of crisped cookie alternating with creamy coffee coated crisp. It’s all covered in a light layer of milk chocolate or more likely a waxy chocolate-like product.

It’s very sweet, but though the bar is large, it’s very light and crunchy. The ingredients list such artery-clogging items like palm and shea oils and hydrogenated soy oil. But I’m doing this for the good of science so I tossed aside my usual embargo on trans fats and wolfed this down.

The scent of coffee as you bring the bar to the mouth is quite evident, but the taste really isn’t there. The bar has lots of good textures, the crunch was crunchy without being dangerous like Cap’n Crunch or anything. But the whole thing was just too sweet and oily feeling. It’s a satisfying bar in that you don’t even feel you need to eat the whole, but it’s not one I’d probably buy again.

Rating: 5 out of 10

(Note, since this review the Coffee Crisp is now distributed widely in the United States by Nestle and was reformulated to contain only a trace of trans fats.)

Related Candies

1. Nestle Crunch Cappuccino Stixx
2. Cafe Select Chocolate Coffee Trios
3. Pocket Coffee
4. Coffee Beat